


And We Can Build

by medusa20



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community: bigbangbigbang, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-16
Updated: 2011-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-23 18:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/253781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusa20/pseuds/medusa20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Addendum: Penny and Sheldon find one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And We Can Build

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Miles to Go (before i sleep)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/250535) by [medusa20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusa20/pseuds/medusa20). 



The Aftermath

And we can build through this destruction  
As we are standing on our feet  
~Gavin Degraw

 

His grip is firm. Their fingers are laced. Penny absolutely refuses to let go - he’ll vanish, or she’ll wake up. This connection is all she has. She feels him begin to move. Sheldon’s steps are slow as he rounds the couch to sit on the deeply scored coffee-table before her.

Penny watches but her eyes simply refuse to believe the sight in front of her.

Sheldon.

After all this time.

He is wearing his gray plaid pants. There is a small hole on the right knee and some deeply ingrained dirt on the thigh. His exploding computer shirt shows even more wear. A faded blood spatter is on the left shoulder and the seam on his right side is coming undone. She notes dully that he’s only wearing one layer of shirting. Wonders never cease.

“Penny,” Sheldon begins but the sound of his voice - his actual, honest-to God voice - not a figment of her imagination or a faint echo as she reads his words on paper, causes the sobs to come. She has no tears - her body is too depleted to let the rivers she knows are in her loose.

Sheldon falls silent. He clasps her hand with both of his and Penny lets her body shake with sobs for a full five minutes before she tries to speak. Even then, her words are stilted and smothered by the crying that doesn’t want to end.

“I…I just can’t believe,” a particularly strong crying jag cuts off her words. “I can’t believe you are actually here, that I made it here.” She rubs at her eyes with the heel of her other hand but there is nothing to wipe away. Her hand falls limply at her side and, this time, a few tears mange to leak out the corners of her eyes.

“Penny, I need some information.”

She looks at him full on. Sheldon’s eyes are wide and she can just make out the edges of his top teeth as they bite into his lower lip.

“They’re dead, Sheldon,” Penny doesn’t mince her words or soften her tone. “I don’t think they lasted long.” Sheldon’s head drops; his hand has become a vice around hers. “Sweetie, at least they were together…”

“Small consolation,” he snaps, dropping her hand and getting up to stare at the endless calculations on the walls around them. He mutters to himself so Penny only catches snippets of words like ‘arrogance,” “military fools” and “lesser minds of the government.”

Penny scrambles up from the couch and over to him. She knows it’s just nerves but she doesn’t want to let Sheldon out of her sight or out of her reach. Penny stands behind him and snakes her arms around his waist. He doesn’t pull away or stiffen; in fact, he leans back into her for just a moment. They stand motionless until Sheldon drags his hand down his face and heaves a sigh.

Penny is relishing the warm, solid reality of him. While he no longer smells faintly of talc (it’s now more outdoorsy and smoky from the fire that is blazing in the hearth), he still smells cleaner than anything she knows, including herself.

“Penny,” Sheldon turns so one blue eye is looking down at her, “You smell like a barn.”

She presses her face between his shoulder blades and laughs silently. Sheldon lets out his asthmatic laugh before telling her that she can shower upstairs.

“There is warm- not hot- water,” Penny raises her eyebrows. “Solar panels on the roof power the water heater,” Sheldon replies before continuing, “If you prefer hot, I can boil some on the stove but in the shower there is soap and shampoo…”

Penny doesn’t hear the rest of his words as she dashes up the stairs to her first real shower in weeks.

She stays under the spray until it turns frigid and her fingers pucker. The bathroom is charmingly rustic in décor with all the modern conveniences of a hotel including big fluffy white robes. As she slides her arms into the sleeves, Penny wonders if Colleen wore one of these robes

“Sheldon!!” Penny hollers from upstairs. “I need clothes. Is there anything left in my bag?”

“You expect me to touch that thing?” He shouts back, “I’ve seen garbage cans cleaner than this bag.”

“Clothes, Sheldon! I need clothes.”

He appears in the center of the room. Towlsey Lodge is constructed so Penny can look down at Sheldon from the upstairs. It makes her think of the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet and she smiles shyly at him.

“You look much better,” Sheldon comments, his ears turning pink. “If only one’s mental state were as easy to tidy up, eh, Penny?”

Instead of answering him, Penny tilts her head some more. Her damp blond hair spills around her shoulder and she can feel that her cheeks are still pink from the heat of the shower. The robe opens a bit to reveal one of her legs (which she hastily shaved with a disposable razor in the tub). The man looking up at her, after all, is the same one whose letters saved her; letters that told her all that he felt about her.

Sheldon clears his throat and looks away, “You may go into my room and borrow some of my things until we determine what of yours can be saved. It is the door directly behind you.”

Penny nods and turns to open the door. When she does, a small cry escapes her - Sheldon has set this room up almost exactly like the one he had in Pasadena. While the accessories are not his personally, he did manage to arrange what was in the room into a near identical set-up

“So bizarre,” Penny murmurs before rifling through Sheldon’s organized bureau. His belongings are few- Superman shirt, Green Lantern and a red long sleeved tee and a yellow one. There is one pair of khakis and a pair of plaid pajamas. Penny shakes her head - he carried all this in his messenger bag?

She finally pads back downstairs in his Green Lantern shirt (which is sporting a ripped hem and an unidentifiable stain on the side) and pajama bottoms only to find Sheldon slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Where…where are you going?’ Penny feels the panic rising in her. She assumed they would be in until tomorrow morning.

“I need to ensure we have adequate supplies for tomorrow. It’s what I was doing when you first came in and began hollering my name.” Sheldon appears to be ignoring her distress - he looks like he’s ready for a jaunt to the comic book store.

“But, I just got here,” Penny protests.

“I won’t be long,” Sheldon assures her. “You need to rest. Try to relax. There are plenty of books to read.”

“Sheldon…” Penny hears the whine in her voice. “Please stay here with me. Go tomorrow to forage.”

Sheldon sighs heavily; he tugs at his shoulder strap. “Penny,” he begins then falters. “I need…I need to do this. I need to go off by myself even for just an hour or two.”

“I don’t understand.” Her lip is beginning to tremble. Her throat closes from the tears she is holding back.

Sheldon looks up at the ceiling, “How to explain this,” he muses then shrugs, “I need to be alone, Penny. I can’t offer more than that right now.” Sheldon turns on his heel and exits the lodge. Penny sinks onto the couch. He left her. She practically dies trying to get back to him, he spends an hour with her and then off he goes.

“Oh my God!” Penny shouts in frustration and heaves herself off the couch to go chase him down. She stomps over to the door and yanks it open.

Sheldon is standing on the path about twenty feet away. His back is to her. He is leaning against one of the giant redwoods just off the path. From her vantage point on the porch, Penny can see his shoulders shaking with sobs. Her feet move toward him but she stops at the first step.  
He had asked for this - to be left alone just for a moment, to deal with the loss of Leonard, Howard and Raj and, Penny supposes, with the shock of her arrival. Sheldon’s head lifts and he pulls out a white square from his back pocket. Penny watches as he mops at his face before placing the handkerchief back in his pocket. Still facing the tree, Sheldon squares his shoulders before heading off down the path. Penny watches him walk until the purple light of evening hides him from view.

X

She tells herself that she is not going to be mad at him. Sheldon had every right to want to express his grief privately. Penny goes into the kitchen to find something to eat. She chooses a can of soup but, by the time she lights the jet with a match and heats it up, her enthusiasm for it has dwindled along with her appetite. Sheldon has been gone much longer than she thought. The sky has reached almost full dark now and Penny never shook her anxiety about nightfall ever since this disaster struck.

She leaves the can of soup in the kitchen and wanders out to the living room. The fire has become a flicker so she tosses another log on to it. The shelves in the living area are lined with books just as Sheldon said. Penny grabs one off the shelf, not even checking the title though she’s pretty sure Michael Crichton was the author so it should be an easy read. She settles into the armchair facing the door, opens the paperback and begins to brood.

Her head jerks up at the scraping sound of the door. Once more, the fire is nothing but glowing embers; Penny blinks against the light from the one lamp. Sheldon is standing just inside the lodge.

“You rat bastard!” Penny whips the book in her lap right at him.

“What on earth!” Sheldon squawks as he leaps out of the way. Penny is on her feet in seconds, an angry finger pointing fiercely at him.

“How dare you leave me alone like this? Do you know how terrified I was to be here by myself?”

“So terrified that you were snoring when I came in?” Sheldon raises an eyebrow.

“That is not the point, Sheldon.” Her voice seems to fill the room they are in. “We are here together - we should stay together. Otherwise, what was the point of giving me all the tools to get here?”

Sheldon looks down at his shoes, “You still have to ask that question?”

Penny’s anger quiets. She reaches out but he’s crossed his arms over his abdomen but when he steps away from her, her temper flares again.

“I miss them too, you know,” she snaps. “I saw you crying out there by the tree. You couldn’t trust me with those feelings? Or, is it you can only let me know how you feel on paper?”

Sheldon glares at her. His mouth opens then closes.

“I’m hungry,” he finally says and moves past her toward the kitchen.

“Damn it, Sheldon. You are not going to do this.” Penny grabs his arm and pulls. Sheldon turns and his eyes are shiny, bright and blinking rapidly.

“I never…” his voice cracks. “I never thought they’d die.” A sob escapes from him. “We were so prepared. We ran simulations, calculated probabilities until they became statistically insignificant.” Sheldon pulls out his handkerchief again and blows his nose. “If I had the slightest inclination they were in mortal peril, I would have gone back there. Our apartment was better prepared than this place.” He looks at her; the tears are brimming in his eyes.

“Penny, how could _I_ have been so wrong?”

She has no answer for him so she folds him into her arms and Sheldon lets his tears fall more freely. His fingers dig into the sides of her waist. The shoulder of her shirt is soaked in seconds but Penny doesn’t move away. She waits until Sheldon is only emitting gentle sniffs. She presses a kiss to his cheek.

“Sheldon, you cannot blame yourself. From what I learned in San Francisco, Pasadena was hit the worst. There are only so many scenarios you can plan for.”

Sheldon’s head is still on her shoulder. His hands have moved and now his arms encircle her waist, pressing her to him. Penny feels a slow burn in her belly start to build. His breath is hot on her neck.

“Sheldon,” she whispers, rubbing her cheek against the faint stubble on his. She leaves another kiss against his ear. This time, he raises his head.

His eyes are now so dark. Penny clings to his shoulders and a soft groan escapes her when Sheldon pulls her tighter against him. His fingernails bite into her spine

“I looked for you every day.” His words are choked by sobs. “All of you. But when Leonard, Wolowitz and Kothrappali failed to show up, I just started looking for you.”

Penny swallows the lump in her throat. Colleen spoke about how Sheldon went out alone and he would never take her. He didn’t want her to see his disappointment. His failure.

“I couldn’t imagine what was taking you so long,” Sheldon moves out of the circle of her arms. “My directives were very clear but you also failed to show.” He looks over her head at the calculations marring the walls. “So I did the only thing I could. I worked.”

His tears have stopped but Penny catches the occasional tremble of his lip and his breath still comes in shuddering gulps.

“I told myself you had managed to make it to safety. I could not conceive of any other reason why you would not come here.”

Penny looks down at her toes peeping out from Sheldon’s pajama bottoms. She bites her lower lip.

“I didn’t read them,” she finally admits.

Sheldon blinks at her once, twice, “You didn’t…what do you…what are you saying!”

Penny puts her hand out to him but he steps farther back. She runs her hands through her damp hair.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Obviously I read them - how could I possibly have made it here if I didn’t. I meant,” she raises her voice when she sees Sheldon open his mouth to reply. “I didn’t read them in order. I didn’t find the map until I was on my way here and I only came here because of Colleen.”

Sheldon tilts his head as Penny continues, “She’s in San Francisco. There is a group of people there - kinda crazy - but she told me…”

“How could you blatantly ignore the directions I gave you?” Sheldon interrupts, “I specifically told you…”

“Because I thought you were dead!” Penny yells. “God, Sheldon, what else was I supposed to think with Leonard broadcasting for you to come home,” Her voice chokes at the mention of their lost friend, “then Leonard was gone and I had no one. No one! Not him. Not you.” Now she is the one sobbing in earnest.

Sheldon draws closer to her. His arms flutter about, much like the first time he hugged her on that long ago Saturnalia. He finally settles around her, cradling her to his chest.

“Do you know why I was crying tonight when I went outside?” He murmurs against her hair. Penny sniffs audibly in response.

“Because I lost my friends,” she feels Sheldon’s lips press against her head, “but you are here. I believe it is common for people to cry too when they get exactly what they always wanted.”

Penny raises her head. Her hand slides up to the back of Sheldon’s neck. When she pulls his mouth to hers, it is with a fierce and claiming passion. She wants no doubt left in his mind about her feelings for him. There has been too much ambiguity between them.

Sheldon’s lips are soft, yielding completely to the urgent demands of Penny’s lips. His hands slide under her shirt, barely brushing the curves of her breasts with the tips of her fingers. Penny deepens the kiss and Sheldon’s tongue slides against hers. She moans softly into his mouth. Her hands grab two bunches of his shirt. She can’t get him close enough. Their kisses have grown wild - angles changing, their breath gasping out of them. Sheldon pulls her lower lip between his teeth and Penny curls her leg around his. He moves his head to trail kisses down the side of her throat.

“Right there,” she pants when he nears the curve where neck meets shoulder. Sheldon presses a series of kisses there.

“Harder and slower,” Penny directs. She feels his lips part, the nip of his teeth and the glorious pressure as he draws the tender skin into his mouth. Her knees buckle and Sheldon grabs her ass to hold her firmly against him. He is locked onto that spot and Penny can feel her eyes roll as the desire within her flames with each kiss.

Abruptly, Sheldon pulls away from her. Their eyes lock, but instead of moving in to kiss her again like she expected, he takes her hand and moves her toward the stairs. She smiles at the faint trembling she feels in his grasp.

They enter his room. Sheldon backs her against the bed until she reclines. He stretches out beside her but she pulls at his waist until he’s on top of her.

“Penny,” Sheldon whispers before kissing her once more. “I’ve waited so long.”

She knows instinctively what he means, that he is referring not only to now but also to all those years before. Her hands move under his shirt, pulling it over his head. She takes the moment when Sheldon raises himself off her to remove her own shirt then she pulls him down again to press his warm skin against hers.

She loses herself in the feel of Sheldon’s mouth. How he manages to pick up on the slightest shift of her body to kiss her, touch her exactly as she wants. He is a far cry from the man who couldn’t recognize a facial cue. Penny’s blood is singing and she wants so much more from him.

Sheldon grinds into her and Penny gasps, causing him to freeze. She tangles her tongue with his and bucks her hips indicating her need for more. Sheldon is back at her throat but his hips have begun that delicious rocking motion again. Penny’s hands scrabble at his pants until she gets them unfastened and down just past his hips.

“Oh. OH!” Sheldon moans as her hand encircles him. He actually shudders as she begins to stroke him. Penny grins and takes his earlobe between his teeth. Sheldon groans louder.

“Touch me,” she tells him and the mere thought of Sheldon’s fingers touching the center of her makes her flush with arousal. He has such beautiful hands.

Sheldon’s hands trail down, pushing at the pajama bottoms in a perfect imitation of Penny’s removal of his pants. His touch is feather-light at first. Penny opens her eyes to find him watching her. Sheldon moves his hand with a bit more force and Penny lets her eyes flutter closed. She lets a slow smile break across her face as Sheldon increases his touch. Her breath hitches as his fingers stroke her. She digs her nails into his bare shoulders and arches her back into the rhythm of his hand.

Sheldon’s breath is ragged as he bends to nuzzle her bare breast. He flexes his fingers in experimentation and Penny moans and writhes against him. He repeats the motion again and again until his name is spilling from her lips.

“Penny, I want...” he begins again the sentence he started downstairs. “I need…so badly.” She silences him with a kiss and just a slight move of her leg is all he needs. He enters her awkwardly - in staccato stages, until he is finally sheathed inside her. His hip bone is thinner than before and sits painfully against hers, so she shifts under him to fit him on the softness that is left on her thighs.

“Oh God,” they moan softly together. Sheldon’s kisses are full and gentle on her lips. Penny takes in the warmth of his mouth until her desire for him supersedes everything else. She rolls her hips under him and Sheldon begins to move.

He is timid at first, not able to get a sense of rhythm. She tries to guide him but he is lost in the feel of her. Penny raises one leg to twine with his, causing Sheldon to thrust deeply into her. She matches him thrust for thrust, tightening her muscles around him. His eyes fly open in wonder before closing again as he gives into the sensation of Penny all around him.

Penny moans as her stomach gives a tell-tale dip. She straightens her left leg out while moving her right one around Sheldon’s waist. She nudges at his leg until he takes the hint to place his on the outside of her extended leg.

“Sweet sufferin’ Jesus,” he splutters at the change of sensation.

“You feel…so…so…good.” Penny manages before words fail her. Sheldon lowers his head, latching on to her neck again “Oh, yeah. Sheldon. Fuck.” Her words are frantic as he works the skin there. She whimpers as his tongue swipes over the bruised flesh.

A low growl escapes Sheldon. His hands slide under her back. His fingers bite into her shoulders as fiercely as his teeth at her neck. The pace of his hips hasn’t increased just intensified, grinding the flesh of their hips together.

“Mmm,” Sheldon claims her mouth again. Penny draws her nails down his back as the pulses within her begin to blend together.

“Penny,” Sheldon whispers between kisses. “Are you…?”

“Almost, Sheldon.” She raises her left leg around him. Sheldon’s movements increase. Small whimpers turn into subtle moans as Sheldon rocks into her.

“Oh, sweetie. I’m…now. Now!”

Sheldon’s kiss scrapes her lips with his teeth but the waves are wracking through her so she doesn’t notice. Penny throws her head back; a low rumble of laughter rolls through Sheldon.

He stays within her. Penny feels the small pulsating aftershocks and watches as Sheldon’s eyes close with each one. Finally, he looks down at her with eyes that are a swirling ocean of blue and unspoken emotion.

“I know, Sheldon,” Penny places a finger to his lips. “I know.”

X

In the morning, Penny awakes to an unlikely sight: Sheldon curled toward her. Deep sleep has erased all the lines of stress and worry from his face. She snuggles closer to him and her motions wake him.

“Hi,” she smiles.

“Good morning,” Sheldon replies.

“I feel as if I am dreaming.” Penny confides.

Sheldon pulls her toward him to show her how real all this truly is.

X

“I am telling you to go left. It doesn’t matter that the road was closed and we had to take a different exit.”

“May I remind you that one cannot rely on maps or personal recollection anymore? How many times do I have to tell you that?”

Penny and Sheldon are facing a large field as they lean on the front fender of the Camry Penny drove from San Francisco.

Penny growls in frustration, “Sheldon, you grew up here. How lost could we possibly be?!”

He snorts but doesn’t reply, only stands there tapping his chin with his forefinger.

Penny shakes her head.

 __

After that first night (and morning), they began to plan on leaving the lodge.

 _“Ideally, we should head for the East Coast,” Sheldon said. “Such as Massachusetts or Rhode Island.”_

 _“Why not New York?”_

 _“Everyone will head there,” Sheldon explained. “It’s the most well-known metropolis.”_

 _“It will take a week to drive from there to here.” Penny offered._

 _“Assuming the country is as we knew it which we both know it is not.” His fingers twist into her hair. “Lord knows what is out there.”_

 _“Well, it’s pretty nice here,” Penny said as Sheldon’s lips pressed against hers._

 _Their days were spent preparing for the drive and their nights in endless exploration of each other. Sheldon’s facile mind was eager to learn all she knew and his ardor for her left her very content indeed._

 _As another month passed, however, Sheldon’s anxiety grew. The shortwave worked at times; they often caught pirated broadcasts but none offered the insight he needed into conditions out there. Penny was loathing leaving the lodge. Their life was idyllic - a perfect domestic picture that she found comforting._

 _“We can last here another three, possibly five, weeks,” Sheldon mused. His hands traced lazy routes on her bare hip. “I’d rather leave sooner than later, though.”_

 _Penny’s head was nestled on his shoulder. The slow drift of his fingers turned into steady drumming._

 _“You’re bored, aren’t you?” She asked._

 _“With you?” Sheldon placed a quick kiss on her forehead, “Never. But, I have answers. Solutions. I can’t stand idly by,” his voice hardened. “I will never do that again.”_

 _Penny was silent. Sheldon would hold himself responsible for the loss of Leonard, Howard and Raj for the rest of his life and nothing she did or said swayed him._

 _“Then we better head out before winter comes,” she climbed astride him._

 _Sheldon gave her a slow grin, “Perhaps we can stay longer.”_

 _Three weeks later, Sheldon announced they were heading to Galveston._

 _“Why?’ Penny put her book down. “That’s crazy. What good would you do there?”_

 _“Penny, there are universities there with other scientists willing to listen to me. Furthermore, I am not driving cross-country. Not now.”_

 _Penny drew her brows together, “What do you mean ‘not now’? Why have you changed your mind?”_

 _Sheldon began fiddling with the shortwave so he wouldn’t have to look at her._

 _“I have made some observations and conditions are no longer favorable for such a trip. Texas is closer. Most likely, my family has escaped unscathed as this whole miasma,” he gestures to the map with the dark V on it, just skirted the outer edges of the state. “We’ll have less of a struggle to establish ourselves there.”_

 _Penny rose from the couch to stand behind him. Nothing but static was coming from the radio._

 _“Sheldon, what are you talking about? What conditions?”_

 _He turned in his chair. His gaze fell pointedly on her midsection._

 _“Perhaps I am mistaken, but you have been here for over two months now and we have been rather recklessly amorous during that time. Granted, you’ve been under a terrible strain and that can certain upset the delicate balance of…”_

 _Penny felt the color drain from her face. Her hand went to her stomach._

 _“No way,” she gasped, stunned that such a thought never occurred to her. She just assumed nothing would ever be normal again._

 _“It’s been known to happen.” Sheldon shrugged and turned back to the radio._

Penny looks over at him. The heat of Texas isn’t sitting well with her. Her bouts of nausea delayed their departure and she can feel another one coming. Her hands rest on the barely noticeable swell of her belly.

“What’s the plan, Sheldon? I’m going to need to eat soon.”

Her voice takes him out of his thoughts, “Of course.” He replies and opens the passenger door for her. Sheldon learned to drive out of necessity; Penny couldn’t drive twenty-eight hours on her own feeling as she did. He took to driving easily as there were few cars on the road- just miles of endless highway. The further they got from California, the more normal everything appeared and the knot that had formed in her chest slowly loosened.

Sheldon starts the car, turning left just as Penny had said. She closes her eyes until her stomach settles. When she opens them again, they are at the crest of a hill. A house is there with the windows open. The air is clear with no haze of smoke. The back door opens and a woman comes out. Even from this distance, Penny recognizes the set of Mary Cooper’s shoulders. She sets a basket down and begins pinning clothes to the line.

Sheldon turns to Penny and smiles. Penny grins broadly back at him.

They are finally home.


End file.
